Joy & Sadness: my tips to find balance

I love to share my weddings and floral projects on my blog.  I’m not one to talk about personal stuff on here really, but lately, being an adult is hard.  Being a girl is hard.  Being a small business owner is hard and balancing a(n unexpectedly demanding new) day job is hard.  And just think of all the other hats we wear…

But, I wouldn’t change it.  Some days are rough…I mean REALLY rough, and you find yourself spiraling into a state of despair.  On those days, I find that I succumb to the Comparison Thief more easily and without even knowing it, I’m neck deep in a dark hole of sadness, wollering in self-doubt and loathing.  My joy is taken from me, my eyes are tearful and I find myself lying in bed unable to move…something like this. Because Thursday was one of those days for me, I thought I would share some ways that I, as an adult-small-business-owner-working-a-day-job-I-love, conquer these types of days.

1. Vent.  But only one time and to one person.  Everyone has that one person they can vent to: a BFF, a husband, a sister, a co-worker.  Find that one person and share.  Don’t dwell.  Don’t elaborate.  Just tell them what’s going on.  Preface your conversation with “You’re my person and I need you to listen.”  I’m that person sometimes, too.  You’ll both feel better unleashing a bit and sharing your frustrations.

2. (Okay, now that that’s done.)  Dream big.  Maybe this is shared with your person too.  Or maybe it’s another “friendor” or family member.  Talk about your short term and long term goals and what’s on the horizon for you.  A big wedding project?  A fantastic vacation?  Talk about what excites you.  For me: a new website/rebrand.  I can hardly wait to see what Megan Martin & Meredith Mejerle create for me and it excites me each time I think about it!  I love to share these exciting things with others and they always make me smile when they come up in conversation.  They remind me that I have a plan, that everything will work out, and that I’ve got this!  Everyone loves good news.

3. Make tangible plans.  Maybe a styled shoot is what you need to offer a less stressful creative outlet?  Maybe it’s a new blog series.  Maybe it’s catching up on all of your tax prep….oh. wait.  But don’t just dream it now; DO IT!  Schedule a meeting with a new vendor that you haven’t worked with.  Reach out to the photographer from last weekend’s event and grab coffee.  Put a date on the calendar for a much needed R&R type vacation or schedule that King Tut inspired styled shoot that you’ve been putting off! (But truly, how awesome would that be?! Any takers!?)

4. Snuggle your pet.  Or your child, if you don’t have a 4-legged one.  This really should go without saying, but I like even numbers.  🙂  If Chester could talk, he would need a therapist just to work through all the stuff I throw at him.  From crying and screaming to wild night dance parties for one, he has seen it all.  Even though he can’t answer back when he is my chosen “person” to vent to, his sweet kisses remind me that someone needs me and thinks I’m pretty freaking awesome (if only because I have access to the dog food…).

Let’s wrap this up so you can get to those big plans: You’ve got this!   We all have those days!  Even those creatives who appear to be so. damn. perfect… they have these days too.  They need hugs and to vent and scheme and make big plans.  They gained their success/following/fame with blood, sweat and tears like everyone else.  Don’t give up and don’t despair.  Even Sadness finds her Joy in the end.